Now I am usually not one to buy into the whole culture of ex-bashing. The everyday me is quite content to just let things slide and let the past remain in the past. I will also quite normally not even rise to the tiniest scent of the bait "you must have it so easy". Not even a little bit. Recently however, I can't seem to get some of this stuff off my mind. Particular moments keep replaying over and over, and its starting to get in the way of some actual thinking that I need to do. So in the spirit of clearing the air, heres five awful things my ex boyfriends did to me:
5 - Mistaking me for my crazy stalker
In at five we have the final mistake of my first boyfriend. Picture if you will, a dark and stormy night. A well cultivated argument designed to produce the perfect make-up sex is brewing, and someone signs out at the perfect moment to allow the rage to turn... or so he thought. A few hours later there's a text, and its all over. So what happened here?
Crazy Stalker.
After spending the best part of an hour repeatedly trying to sign in, she pops up the moment that I am away and starts a whole new argument involving the word pedo. Fun ensues.
The next morning, things are put to rights and almost reconciled, except for the fact I can never now forget that someone who supposedly knew me best of all, mistook me for someone so totally different. She didn't even use the bat emote. I mean seriously. Who doesn't use that?
4 - Telling lies about his sexual history
I literally almost shank'd this mutha-f- right where he stood.
For me, the conversation prior to the first time we get down and dirty, is a little sacred moment where if there is a bible on hand I will either make you swear on it or brain you with it. Judge all you want, I know I'm fierce.
The conversation goes a little like "So how much of a ho are you?" and the desired answer is "Kinda but nothing in the last three to six months". So when I heard "Nothing for the last two years" followed by "And I had a test last month" you can safely assume I was impressed enough to put out.
Except he was measuring in rat years. He'd had more unprotected sex with more questionable looking boys than I even knew existed in this charming little country town. If looks could kill... sirrious.
3 - Forcing me to choose between him and my friends
In at three, some recent history!
And moreover. Making the choice for me. As it turns out, my charming boyfriend-at-the-time decided that he was going to take on the role of my personal net nanny, and not only deleted the contact information of some of the most important people in my life, but also decided to send them nice little notes to the tune of: "F--k you, f--k your dog, and f--k your whole family".
For some reason, only one of them has actually wanted to get back into my life now that I'm shot of the loser. Funny that.
A repeat offender in at two, and honestly not the last time he's going to contribute. Every now and then he'd come to me in tears (in between bouts of making people vanish) and beg and plead for my assistance. Then when I try to help him out, he'd turn it into some spiteful revenge attack because I had the audacity to see him vulnerable. Examples too stupid to even share at this point. Repeat ad nauseum.
1 - Getting engaged to someone else in three days
Yeah. Two years and this is what I am presented with after three days:
-censored- is now ENGAGED.
"15 people like this" "25 comments"
F--k you Facebook. F--k you lots.
See wasn't that nice and civil? No names, and absolutely no uncertainty. Except for perhaps why I put up with all this crap and haven't had any real revenge. Stay tuned for my next totally self indulgent post, for the 5 awful things I did to them! - SR
One of my ex-boyfriends from high school used to complain that we never hung out. So I called him nearly every other day. "I'm at the coffee place right now. Want to hang out?" The coffee place was literally about a mile from his house.
ReplyDeleteHis answer? "No; I'm playing my guitar."
So we broke up, though the "technical" reason was that we would be in different states within the next four months. Although, when he started dating a girl from his gym class a few days after we broke up, I kind of wondered about that reasoning.